Debate and Discussion can be fun and entertaining if done right - If not, they are unbearable. Why, then, do we risk the tedium when we enter in debates with others? And how can it be avoided?

One might say that the purpose of debate is to sway the opponent towards a view that you hold. In application, this is mostly against their consent and not fun for either party.

In competitive speech and sport debate, the purpose is to swamp the opponent with facts and figures to the point where they can not respond 1, while in more authentic debates environments, the purpose is to sway the audience. 2 3 Neither are particularly objective.

If formal debates have subjective criterion at best and informal debates rarely end well, how can we improve life for each other?

Some observations about knowledge exchange

  • Another person’s mind rarely changes during a debate, especially if they are debating the other side. To admit being wrong is not allowed for many people.

  • When someone’s mind does change, it is because they’ve heard a piece of information through a variety of sources. That is to say: if a single conversation changes someone’s mind, they weren’t very steeped in the ideology in the first place.

  • To dislodge a bad fact takes ten new ones (or so I’ve heard until ten people tell me otherwise). If someone hears a story or piece of evidence that reinforces their world view, even if it is wrong or debunked, the effect of the information will remain imprinted on our brain - even if its consciously known to be wrong!

Simple tips to being a good discussion partner:

  • Avoid the battle! Before any discussion or argument, ask yourself: is this a discussion involving information trade, or is it a battle to win? If it is a battle to win, just stay away. 4

  • Be willing to entertain all sides of the discussion and see where they lead, even if you find the other side to be wrong or abhorrent. If the other party is not willing to do the same, they are unlikely to be a good discussion partner 5

  • Ask yourself during the discussion: why am I arguing for what I believe? What would change my mind about what I believe in? What would the consequence of changing my mind be? Often, we completely neglect these questions just to save face or stroke our own ego

  • Admit to the other person they are right, tell them you need time to think about what they said. Don’t immediately disagree with something because you can, that’s not a sign of intellect - its a sign of contrarianism

Simple tips to being a good debate partner

  • Informal debating without preparation is potentially one of the worst forms of discussion. In order to make the discussion worthwhile for both sides, the etiquette is that both sides should 1) do research, 2) prepare their strongest arguments, 3) present them and 4) defend them.

  • Adding new arguments later is a no-no, you should only counter or add new evidence for existing arguments. This is to prevent discussions from dragging on with one party refusing to admit they are incorrect

  • If you find yourself getting into debates and arguments on topics that you haven’t done research in, stop doing that! Displaying false confidence while saying half-accurate facts is almost unforgivable

Notes

  1. This works outside of formal debates, too.

  2. Too bad we are all easily deceived by a half handsome face and a dose of charisma

  3. These seem to be our best guess at creating readily evaluable objective criterion for grading debates

  4. If you are bored, sometimes it can be relaxing to crush an easy opponent, but avoid these temptations, because others will see your behavior and copy you, and then the world will be full of insufferable half-right debaters.

  5. This only goes so far, though. If your opponent has some crazy stance that is beyond absurd, you don’t have to really empathize with them - just listen to their points and do your best